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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24929116">It's been a long day (without you)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/adoringlouis/pseuds/adoringlouis'>adoringlouis</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Chicago Med</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst with a Happy Ending, Everyone Needs A Hug, Fluff, Friendship/Love, Hurt/Comfort, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 06:07:23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,962</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24929116</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/adoringlouis/pseuds/adoringlouis</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The one where Will and Connor meet again after two years and Will confronts Connor, questioning why he left in the first place.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Will Halstead/Connor Rhodes (Chicago Med)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>72</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>It's been a long day (without you)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hello,<br/>so, in advance, I just wanted to mention that I'm not a native speaker, which means that my English (obviously) isn't perfect.</p><p>In addition to that, I've never really seen an episode of Cmed, yet started shipping Rhodestead after watching edits on youtube, haha, which is why I wanted to write a fanfiction. (Plus; I've only seen Russian ones so far, so I thought the people might need an English one as well)</p><p>I hope you enjoy reading this short oneshot. :)</p><p>-A</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It felt like a mockery, like the universe was purposely reminding Will of how preposterous he was as he stepped outside of the hospital on a Friday night. </p><p>Grey, cheerless clouds adorned the dark sky as the cold air wrapped itself around Will like a non comforting blanket and he inhaled deeply, his lungs filling with cold, fresh air as a feeling of alleviation ignited in his chest.</p><p> It was relatively quiet, nothing but a few distant cars could be heard as he was fiddling with his coat in an attempt to fish for his phone that was hidden in the depths of his pocket when a loud noise cut through the cold air, leading Will to flinch as his eyes were searching for the source of the noise.</p><p> Apparently, some other guy at the end of the street had almost crashed into another car, luckily hitting the brakes soon enough, preventing an actual accident.<br/>Curses filled the air, but Will relaxed again,<br/>he sighed deeply, slowly shaking his head as he was about to focus on the phone he had just fished out of his pocket, yet, just as he was about to dedicate his attention to a new message Natalie had texted him, his eyes were clung to a person standing on the other side of the street, leaning against a wall of one of the few houses built across from the hospital.</p><p>The man's side profile was visible to Will whose eyes widened as a small suspire escaped his cold lips. It couldn't, he thought to himself, he left. This had to be his mind playing games, it had to be a reminder of his idiocy, of how desperate he was to lay eyes on the man who once was his friend, it couldn't actually be him, or could it?</p><p> He felt as if he were unable to move, condemned to stare at the man he once admired who then turned his head, facing the hospital and Will's frozen figure. </p><p>Waves of raw emotions washed over him, battling over superiority, anger and sorrow crippled inside of him, demanding to be set free as hundreds of thoughts were racing through his mind, as if they were running for their lives, and yet he wasn't able to grasp a single one.</p><p>Connor looked so utterly different, he had shaved the remarkable beard off and his hair was much shorter, a small smile appeared on his lips- he looked so different from the man Will used to know, yet the similarity was undeniable. </p><p>Their gazes met and, for a second, Will forgot how to breathe, the memories were crushing him, suffocating him as sorrow danced in his eyes. Memories of years ago, shared laughs resonated through his mind, the sound of Connor's deep, quiet voice, over and over again.</p><p> All of a sudden, Connor spun around, walking down the street hastily, as if he were trying to get away from Will, escape his past, as fast as possible. </p><p>Will's eyes widened and for a second, he internally debated whether he was worth running after, whether it was worth receiving an explanation, an apology after two years of not hearing anything about his friend. </p><p>Eventually, Will precipitately rushed after Connor, eyes never once leaving his friend's figure. </p><p>He quickly crossed the street, a few cars honked as they had to stop for Will, but he didn't mind, couldn't think about anything but having to follow Connor who had just disappeared around the next corner. </p><p>His breathing hitched as he started to run, not bearing the thought of losing Connor once again, without a goodbye, without an explanation- just disappearing without a trace. </p><p>He almost would've missed him, almost. </p><p>He was just about to pass another one of the small alleys, but quickly stopped in his tracks as his eyes were clung to a man whose back was turned to Will, panting hard.</p><p> Slowly, Will made his way over to the man, uncertain of whether the man in fact happened to be Connor. <br/>"Hey, man, you okay?" Will entreated carefully, playing it safe. </p><p>The man's gaze shot up, his genuine blue eyes displayed a battle of raw emotions, guilt, sorrow, anger and something else Will couldn't pinpoint, but they vanished quickly as his eyes fluttered shut, hiding any emotion that was there before.</p><p> "I'm fine", Connor hoarsely replied, eyes glued to the dirty side walk as if he weren't daring to meet Will's. </p><p>For a while, an unpleasant silence settled between them as Will was examining his friend.</p><p> At first glance, Connor looked great, the short hair emphasized his sharp, well defined features, he looked younger without the beard and he seemed as if he had worked out the last two years, his coat was tight, presenting his well defined muscles.</p><p>After all, Connor looked handsome, but there was something off about his appearance, something that bothered Will to an unreasonably high extent and, as he looked closer, he noticed the pallid, yet subsisted bags emerging under his eyes, the different way Connor carried himself, the way he ached under the pressure the world forced upon his shoulders, the way he made himself smaller than he actually was, as if he were hiding and the way his lips were chapped and faded. </p><p>"I don't-", Will started, but obstructed himself, uncertain of whether and how to continue, "Where the fuck were you?" He exclaimed, sensing the anger burning inside of him at Connor's image. Though he pitied the man, sensing that there was something off, it reminded him of the nights he had spent worrying, laying wide awake, staring at the wall and wondering where he was, whether he was okay and why he didn't seem to think answering Will's calls happened to be important.</p><p>Connor's lips parted as if he wanted to say something, but Will interjected, "What the fuck are you doing here, huh?" </p><p>"I'm sorry", he stated silently. </p><p>"Oh, you're sorry?" Will furrowed his brows, mocking Connor's weak tone. "Yea, great that you're sorry, still doesn't answer any of my questions", he spat out and Connor flinched at the harsh tone.</p><p> "Look, Will, I didn't mean to leave without a goodbye-" </p><p>Will jeered, interjecting once again, "Well, you still left, without another fucking word."</p><p> "I really don't want to talk about this out on the street." </p><p>"Where do you want to go, then? Because I sure can't promise that I won't punch you in the face if we're in the same room for longer than about five minutes", his words were searching its way into Connor's heart like venom who slightly jumped at the ruthless emotion that was audible.</p><p>"Please, Will", a genuine, desperate expression adorned Connor's sharp features and, though Will didn't want to, he could hear himself agreeing. </p><p> </p><p>Eventually, they were sitting on Connor's sofa about half an hour later, silently examining the man sitting right next to them.</p><p> Will ran his hand through his hair nervously, shifting uncomfortably under Connor's stare. "I didn't mean to leave without saying goodbye- I didn't mean to leave you without a goodbye", he corrected himself and his gaze softened as it met Will's whose eyes widened at the confession. </p><p>"Why did you, then?", he muttered silently. </p><p>"I just," he swallowed hard, scratching the back of his neck as he continued, "I didn't want- I couldn't see anyone any more. It just felt so surreal, so chronically painful- I couldn't handle it, not the hospital, not the people, not even you. It felt like I couldn't breathe whenever I got inside, like I was drowning while everyone around me was breathing. I didn't think anyone would understand, I didn't think anyone would be willing to stick around while I tore myself apart." </p><p>All of a sudden, all of the anger that was crippling inside of him, the will to let it out on Connor for leaving him all alone, not knowing whether he was okay or somewhere on the streets, left Will with an incredible feeling of guilt. Waves of culpability and sorrow washed over him as his gaze softened and he gently touched Connor's shoulder, "I'm sorry", he muttered as Connor's gaze shot from the spot where Will's hand was resting to Will's lips that twitched into a small smile. </p><p>"I know I shouldn't have left without another word, I know you didn't deserve it, but I just- I couldn't", he bit his lip as his voice broke.</p><p> "It's okay", Will softly mumbled. </p><p>For a while, a comfortable silence settled between them as Connor shot him a small smile. "I know I should've called, at least after I started doing better. I meant to, but I was scared that everything I found would crumble to dust as soon as I saw you again, because I knew I would have gone back to you, to everyone, any second. I never meant to hurt you, Will", he muttered as the need to cry, wrap his arms around Connor and never let him go ignited in his chest. </p><p>"I just- from one day to the other, you were just gone. You didn't answer my calls, you didn't let me know you were okay- I thought something happened to you. I thought you were, I don't know, "he swallowed hard as the tears were welling in his eyes, "dead. It felt like you never existed. I just- I always hoped you'd come back, tell me that all you found was heartbreak and misery, that it was a joke, that you never meant to leave, that you missed me", he whispered, almost embarrassed as he squinted his eyes shut, hiding any hint of weakness.</p><p> "Well, I did find heartbreak and misery, "a low chuckle escaped his lips, "and I did miss you." A small smile adorned his features that was tarnished by an exhausted expression hiding in his eyes. </p><p>"I'm glad you're okay", a genuine smile searched its way onto his lips. </p><p>"I'm glad you're here", he muttered, eventually pulling Will into a warm embrace. Will rested his head on Connor's chest as he could hear the other man's quickening heartbeat who pulled Will even closer. At first, Will didn't know how to react, tensing as he wasn't used to that much contact, not used to a warm body that provided comfort and a feeling of content pressed against his own, but he quickly eased into the touch, feeling the tension leaving his body and the weight being lifted off his shoulders. "I'm sorry for leaving- I'm sorry for leaving you" he murmured and Will gently shut his eyes as the waves of comfort and warmth washed over him, leaving him relieved and delighted. </p><p>"Why were you there today?" Will gently whispered, almost as if a louder noise were capable of bursting the bubble of love and comfort they found themselves in.</p><p> "These past few days, I thought about going back, I missed the hospital, the sensation of saving people while working with you and the others. I wanted to go inside, I wanted to talk, see how things are going, but I couldn't. I just stood there for a long time, staring at the entrance as if, if I just stared long enough, I had the courage to go. When I saw you, I just- I couldn't think, I just knew that I had to get out, that I had to leave, that's why I walked away." </p><p>"Promise me you'll never walk away again", Will muttered as he looked up at Connor and their eyes locked. "I'll never walk away again," he whispered, a genuine expression danced in his eyes and Will believed him, "I promise." Connor pressed a small, soft kiss onto Will's hair, "I promise", he whispered again, this time, more to himself than Will.</p>
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